Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Food Obsession

"Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.

I admit it!

Food has become an absolute obsession with me as of late, and it is driving me insane. The difficulties of 1. maintaining my weight, 2. eating enough to get me through exercise sessions without going into insulin shock, 3. being a diabetic in general, 4. eating healthy, and 5. being vegan are, lately, taking up a great part of my brain.

I need balance in this situation: I do not believe it ethical to consume animal products (excluding honey: sorry bees), nor do I believe it to be healthy (especially for me! But read the China Study if you wish to hear more of a professional opinion); I cannot eat with abandon unhealthy foods for fear of short-term and long-term diabetic complications; I cannot eat too little or not enough for fear of aforementioned insulin shock. Combine this with my inherent (yet occasionally haphazard) environmentalism, wish to be frugal and not waste my "special" vegan foods, and desire for social justice and you have a girl who now devotes a shameful amount of time to thinking what she should eat for dinner. Or as a snack. Or as an evening snack. Or if I need a quick blood sugar pick-me-up. Etc.

That all being said, I am not wholly consumed. I can still back down and find some balance. Yet I sense I should act soon, for I've been neglecting some very important things (such as spiritual development and charity), and without those things, I can sense that something in me is developing awry. One positive thing: it makes me realize again what "dust" I am and how terribly selfish and, in fact, evil I am and shall be always while I live.

Nothing a little prayer can't fix, I'd wager; but in the mean time, I am giving myself a headache! Or maybe that's just my needing to eat soon.

1 comment:

Marvin the Martian said...

It's natural to obsess, since this condition is new for you. I know you'll find your equilibrium.