Tuesday, August 9, 2011

"Evolution" obviously wants me dead...

But what does God want?

Is it stupid of me- of all of us insulin-dependent diabetics, including two of my uncles and a few friends- to cling so desperately to life when an act of God/nature which would have killed us all only a hundred years ago has stricken us? Do times really change like that?

I have an issue: when I try hardest to live according to what I think my conscience is telling me, I get the guiltiest of feelings. Soon, I begin to suppress them, because I feel that they can't possibly be right.. In other words, I get to thinking, and usually start feeling as if I am not following God's will for the stupidest of reasons (such as "maybe it's wrong to not eat meat" or "maybe I shouldn't have bought myself that $3 shirt from the thrift store" or "maybe I shouldn't try to interact with anyone.."). Sometimes, I get scared when my conscience comes behind me and whispers that my life is 1. not amounting to much of worth, and 2. will forever be a burden on society and on my family. Sometimes, and because of this I fear to look inside, I swear I hear the nag of one asking "Is it not wrong for you to carry on this life?"

1 comment:

Marvin said...

In the Christian mindset, these whispers of self-doubt you keep hearing are the whispers of demons who seek to pull you off the righteous path. Do not listen to them.

God loves you, and made you to walk this Earth and do good in His name. Feel confident, knowing that you are here on a mission to make the lives of other people better, in even the smallest of ways (like blogging ;-) ).
While God loves you, He also does not care about the minutiae of your life, I think. If you eat meat which was raised organically, free-ranging, and is humanely slaughtered, and you do not waste food, then you are honoring the lives of the animals and plants who died to sustain you, and you are honoring the ecosystem which is His creation.

Your life is what you make of it. Be kind, be helpful, be loving and giving to others, the way God gives to you. Your life is a bright spark among many, but without your life, the world would be a little darker.

Just my opinion.