Is it stupid of me- of all of us insulin-dependent diabetics, including two of my uncles and a few friends- to cling so desperately to life when an act of God/nature which would have killed us all only a hundred years ago has stricken us? Do times really change like that?
I have an issue: when I try hardest to live according to what I think my conscience is telling me, I get the guiltiest of feelings. Soon, I begin to suppress them, because I feel that they can't possibly be right.. In other words, I get to thinking, and usually start feeling as if I am not following God's will for the stupidest of reasons (such as "maybe it's wrong to not eat meat" or "maybe I shouldn't have bought myself that $3 shirt from the thrift store" or "maybe I shouldn't try to interact with anyone.."). Sometimes, I get scared when my conscience comes behind me and whispers that my life is 1. not amounting to much of worth, and 2. will forever be a burden on society and on my family. Sometimes, and because of this I fear to look inside, I swear I hear the nag of one asking "Is it not wrong for you to carry on this life?"