Why? Am I addicted to the control of my diet?
Maybe... Yet even if I am, there is a greater force keeping me from NOT worrying a bit: diabetes. I must count carbs, fat, fiber, and protein so as to guess when to take insulin and how much to take or when to exercise and how long to exercise. Thus, I am stuck examining my diet and worrying about whether it truly will wreck my long-term health to indulge in too many carbohydrates and take the insulin to cover or whether it would be best for my short and long-term health if I ate vegan low-ish carb (nuts, veggies, some beans, seeds, soy...).
In reality, I just want to enjoy food. I don't know how to fully do this with diabetes. Then again, the varying consequences of food choices have slowly been unfurling to my mind since my vegetarian conversion. (Rarely is a food without its negative effect, except, perhaps, home-grown "veganic" non-starchy vegetables. They seem like a safe bet.)
Anyhow, because this is something that shall not disappear, I must adapt to it. I don't want to begin to stress over something as hypocritical as what non-animal food to choose. I just want to be thankful for the food, savor it, and still have a good glucose reading. ;)