Friday, November 12, 2010

No one will care.... No one will care.

I suppose she's dead. I cannot be sure, because her path never crossed mine and made any huge difference; she and I were quite different and I am not sure I'd have ever been able to be her friend or even desire her friendship too greatly. Yet I did not despise her.

I suppose she's dead now, because that is what everyone is saying on her now (surely) defunct facebook page.

The words people leave are thoughtful, I suppose: they say they miss her and I can imagine that they do or will. But life goes ever on- and much faster, too- for her friends here show no sign of sadness on their electronic manifestation of their psyches. Their lives go ever on in mundane actions and thoughts.

I wonder: if she is dead, is the life she lived worth it to her? I assume she is somewhere, just not alive on this planet. Was her life what she desired it to be? Did all the teenage averageness amount to a life that was fulfilling?

I don't say this to shame her or her memory. I hope she had a life better than what I would expect of any teenager. I wish she wasn't dead: not only because it shakes my fragile ego, but also because I don't want her to be dead. I don't want someone my age to run into the completion of their life now...


Anonymous said...

That's nice of you to worry. I doubt she's dead. She probably just doesn't want to be found. And if she IS dead, she's probably in a better place.

Scribbling Madame said...

I quite like your blog :3 and i hope you can check mine out :

Marvin the Martian said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

I met a "Lidia" in a restaurant recently. I smiled and thought of you.

Marvin the Martian said...

You are slacking on the blogfront. I'm sure that's because you're busy getting all A's this semester. ;-)