Perhaps one is just a hair-breadths away from the other...
My despicable desperation is made even more so by the fact that I intend upon being secretive and cultivated; I pride myself on time spent alone in contentment. Yet I have lately spent my alone time secretly hoping that something new would sweep me up and away from my books, my words, my staring...
I am just mildly lonely. Yes, that is what I am... Not crazy, right? Not a selfish narcissist looking for a reason to have an evil ego? Part of me- good or bad, I know not- warns me away from my foolish desire of much social interaction; warns me that I might be lead astray or take liberties I need never take.
Being alone is simple and pure. It is just maddening.
2 comments:
Aye, and will I every be SOMEONE to anyone? As the test of time shows- no- but as my hope is, I suppose only time will tell if one for whom I care will realize me. As a small token, I shall say that I do have my great admiration for you, I have just felt internally opressed in recent times, so it may not show though at all times. Even that said, I suppose realization and admiration from those of a higher mind is what you seek, and if that is your desire, then so I hope it shall be. Socialization is not really my forte, but feel free to bring me along on your travels, I may just surprise you.
With love,
Wayne
LOL how eloquent. I used to think I wanted friends too, and I have some, and I have many more acquaintances who regard me as a friend (but not the other way around, because my standards are too high). But really, interaction with people is just too tiring and irritating to me. So I think I want more friends, but I really don't. It took me a few decades to figure that one out.
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