Under stimulated, I've heard, is better than over, but..
Nothing seems to wait for me this year.
Entirely and wholly for preparation this year still may be..
As I thought at first-
Soon things may be too tragic.
Effigies appear, I cannot disappear, and things will never be the same.
I began this year certain that, like last year, it would be only a period of growth and not really a time for things to happen. I seem to be losing that feeling- now, either by God's will or Satan's doing, I feel as if there will be change and action this year: but in a way, I feel guilty. I suppose I should be careful what I wish for: change leaves many broken, if one doesn't undergo it correctly.
I dread and love this feeling: something will happen, but I know not if it will bode well or ill with me and others.