Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Dilemmas in General

Such is the world: one must always choose.
To stay or go, or hover in between, divided.
gly is the straight path,
Crossroads, even more so.
ings are laid to ruin by what they do not pick, and all they fail to foresee..

If you couldn't tell, I am a sucker for reminiscing at definite turning-points. Yes, life is so dynamic that it is forever turning this way and that, but there are certain events that catch my eye above all the others. Sometimes, I can foresee the drastic change, but most often, it is me looking back...

The very beginning of sixth grade, when all the things I built up around prematurely and haphazardly crashed in upon me and through me into a pit of depression.. The catalyst? A pitiful devotion and a relatively simple e-mail...

The end of eighth grade, when I allowed myself to wander from a pasture- a pasture greener than all others at that time, yet then a dull yellow from poison and neglect- to the desert. Seduced by myself into trading muses. The trade, though successful, was not what I bargained for, and it did me in...

The accumulated pain, about to reach its bursting point, that was taken away and numbed by Jesus Christ in the deep dark of a late November evening...

All of them, so very decisive.

Only the latter do I see as worth it, now, but what am I to do? I am who I am and I am what I was (coincidentally, I am also who I will be. Fancy that). The past is a part of me that cannot be erased but can be forgiven and potentially healed. Oh, the decisions I have made!

More decisions speed in their way towards me. I dread to think of them.. And I don't. I will let tomorrow's worries remain there. However.. How am I to begin work on the triumphs I hope to make through tomorrow's choices?

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