Thursday, April 30, 2009

Today's topic is to be THE FUTURE

Frail and
Untrustworthy for me to

I am of the group of people who, on occasion, feel pressured about their future- surprisingly enough, I don't mean college or career here- and allows that pressure to deplete their energy for a few days. I don't really mean to let this happen any longer, but I am not quite sure how to make it cease its process.. Yet..

The future, for a dreamer like me, is shrouded in mist that is incessantly evaporating and regrouping. Next year is hidden in a mystical fog of my making, which shall disappear when that time arrives, just to re-form its shifty shape around a later date. I dream the abridged dreams of a modern (how I hate to admit it) romantic.. Tragedy, that will likely never come to fruition, lay ahead; my un-faced obstacles loom, knives in hand (for such were the weapons in the 1800s, of course), ready to maim when I fail to conquer them; I fantasize about creating art through all sorts of mediums- written and spoken word, song, instrument, clay, paint, pencil, etc. I dream of creating medieval retreats so complete that I may, in fact, sink into such times and never be extracted nor be bothered to be extracted. I dream of simplifying my life to an extent un-heard of by any American.. But I know so many of my ambitions shall come to naught, and indeed, some of it shall be God's will. What I fear is that I shall miss God's purpose for me and instead chase these thoughts that others presume to be quite irrational.

I don't trust the future- technology grows in it's survelliance power each day; people grow more and more narcisstic with the help of the internet and its habit of transforming humans into something egocentric and thoughtless and decidedly not human; technology is growing to, perhaps one day, take on its own individual persona. All of these things wait in the shadow of the future.. Each taunting me as I inflate their threat with my gaping eyes.

So, for the time being, I write. I read. I record and think and feel so that one day I can accomplish my goals and face my fears and fight technology. I sleep well, as is characteristic to me, but rest uneasy.

Clock Pictures, Images and Photos

“There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.”

-Tennessee Williams

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