October..

It's October in the land where the Night Mare resides, as it very well may be where you are. This- the arbitrary arrival of fall once again- means that meaning must be sought, found, questioned, and wondered. This means that I cannot afford- don't want to afford- not blogging.

I've been wondering again about how wise it is for me to blog the type of things I blog. My blog is an online diary of all the things I'd try to tell someone if I they were close to me and if I were able. It being thus, much of me doesn't mind the regurgitation of my self into the cyberworld- it's a lot like if I had a best friend- but part of me wishes there was more sacredness to the whole process and, of course, a lot more resolution and clarity (which comes about when you are able to discuss things with people in person). But for now- for the month of October- this blog will suffice, as it has for some time.

For the sake of content, I'll inform you of what I've been up to in my half willingly, half accidental absence. It's school, really. The seven and a half classes I'm taking (all of which but one are college-level) keep me rather occupied, and due to laziness, I spend the rest of my free time either walking around to aid my body with it's disease or with W., also usually walking around (or stupidly using the internet while he's around.. But that's another "YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS GOING TO PASS YOU BY" panic for another day). I'm getting eager to be done, somewhat, with all the work. Yet even if I do graduate high-ranking in high school, surely I'll strive for the same excellence in college, so... My days of intense schooling are not yet over in the least. (But it is tempting to take on less as I progress in college... But time is always of the essence... Right?) Now that fall is here, and with it cooler winds that awaken one to better things, I wish to make more of it.

There's just one last thing I wish to mention. My goal of making friends this year is not utterly failing, and for that I am grateful. I have yet to develop a close relationship with anyone, but I've very partially re-established some communication with old friends at my high school and have, just a small bit, been talking more with people at PHCC. In other words, I'm feeling quite hopeful, but still not much in the way of tangible results... (In other other words, no one has run up to me and begged to be my very best friend, to which I begrudgingly agree and proceed to have a relationship the depth of which takes years to form instantaneously... [By the same ticket, no large group of Christian, Vegan, Me-type people has recruited me into their social circle, wherein they weekly get together at their cozy abodes and serve vegan, sugar-free baked goods and tea... Fancy that. You'd think they'd have reached out to me already!])

And that was my September.

To do in October:

• Read a horror story once per day.
• Hone the art of vegan baking.
• Procure a job as a CNA.. But first pass the test.
• MAYBE FINALLY GET AN INSULIN PUMP.
• Listen to all my Smashing Pumpkins CDs.
• Do one long walk at my local nature park.