I didn't ask for this.. Oh, wait, I probably did.

At first, I wanted to lament. After a calming walk, I just want to tell: on occasion, I mourn (obviously....) the apparently un-asked for disease I now have and wonder why it was thrust upon me without my consent. Then I remember the days of darkness where I'd fantasize that I was ill- typically, terminally and tragically so- and I was finally receiving love and truth and attention. Well...

I'm chronically ill, now. Yet the nature of the disease is such that no one mourns it. This is a good thing. This is a character-building thing.

.. And, this is a HUGE instance of "be careful what you wish for." Many-a-time have I wished for something evil and, sure enough, received it. Maybe the two events- my asking and the manifestation of my request- are not correlated, but even if that is so, surely my guilt and the burden of the realization of the event is still mine to deal with. I need to wish and pray for good. Which means I need to think positively. Which means I need to look outside of myself.

In other news:

Novolog has been working! Happy days are here again! (But I still need to learn how to cover myself with insulin!)