Thursday, November 5, 2009


So sensitive to my singleness
Wonderful small moments are the most I can take-
Every guy I borrow from.
Equality with the flirtatious I do not seek..
The thing I seek is not thrill, but comfort.

I really and truly hope I am not destined to be a spinster. I've never desired to squander my life away on perpetual flirtatious encounters; I have never even had one in which I wasn't thoroughly convinced it was something deeper. I have never craved being attractive to the masses. Instead, I have always- well, except for a few vindictive moments here and there in which I imagined brilliant times of me becoming cold, seductive, and irresistible (as if that could ever actually happen). Anyhow... I have always longed more for an intimate talk with a guy in an idyllic setting than a party in which I am (somehow) seen as a fabulously hot woman. Consequently, now that the longest period of me being single since SIXTH grade (ha..) has come upon me, I am becoming frightfully romantic (though not to where others may tell). The presence of any appealing male will leave me imagining something as simple as a comforting, caring hug, or, if I am truly disillusioned, something as complicated as having a mutual discussion on the merits of some novel or a philosophical view (Alas, even if such a thing happened, I have not yet much to contribute to those sort of conversations... I really must hone my intellect and ability to carry on intelligent conversation).

1 comment:

Marvin the Martian said...

Comfort is what most women seek. Hugs are much more fulfilling than kisses. Except a friend of mine...she thrives on the empty flings, though she's passing 40 and is realizing that it is indeed emptiness in those flings. Now she's lonely and doesn't know how to be warm and loving and accepting and giving.

I suck at small talk. And philosophy is terribly small talk. Making FUN of philosophy is much more interesting. Here's a fun page -

I like the quote that says, "The only difference between graffiti and philosophy is the word 'f_ck.'" How true is THAT!