So sensitive to my singleness
Wonderful small moments are the most I can take-
Every guy I borrow from.
Equality with the flirtatious I do not seek..
The thing I seek is not thrill, but comfort.
I really and truly hope I am not destined to be a spinster. I've never desired to squander my life away on perpetual flirtatious encounters; I have never even had one in which I wasn't thoroughly convinced it was something deeper. I have never craved being attractive to the masses. Instead, I have always- well, except for a few vindictive moments here and there in which I imagined brilliant times of me becoming cold, seductive, and irresistible (as if that could ever actually happen). Anyhow... I have always longed more for an intimate talk with a guy in an idyllic setting than a party in which I am (somehow) seen as a fabulously hot woman. Consequently, now that the longest period of me being single since SIXTH grade (ha..) has come upon me, I am becoming frightfully romantic (though not to where others may tell). The presence of any appealing male will leave me imagining something as simple as a comforting, caring hug, or, if I am truly disillusioned, something as complicated as having a mutual discussion on the merits of some novel or a philosophical view (Alas, even if such a thing happened, I have not yet much to contribute to those sort of conversations... I really must hone my intellect and ability to carry on intelligent conversation).