Saturday, October 31, 2009

Here's the Truth

  • I am ageless. I am not a teenager. Don't even begin to tell me that I am. I don't belong with 99.9% of them 99.9% of the time. Neither am I an adult. I am just me and I am stuck, forever repeating myself and never moving from the circle I am in.
  • I am stupid. If I were intelligent, I could see past the silly emotional urges and feelings that we humans experience. Why does it really even matter to us what happens? Think about it. Why do we bother ourselves with loneliness or love or even happiness? Yet I cannot help but succumb.
  • Most of you really don't want to know me, but I always want to know you. Yet I know you don't really have any interest in me- and perhaps if I didn't know that, you would one day grow to be fond of me. But because of who I am and how I act, I am sick in my patheticness.
  • I wish I could find a philosophy I agree with. It would, perhaps, help if I actually read the works of the great philosophers to determine what I believe to be true in the realm of philosophy.
  • I am not set up in any way to be happy. I don't know how I can ever, with that cold, hard fact, be loved or even liked, but that's just how it is: I am meant to be pensive; I am meant to be questioning and regretful. Someone has to be.
  • I have tired of every aspect of life except reading, writing, and being alone.
  • I am the only person I know who takes the time to be to themselves.
  • I like all of you, I really do. I'm not angry or upset and if you ever think of me, don't think it's your fault that I am so quiet. You are not wrong, I am. It would be better if I were born elsewhere, in a different time, with a different mind. I will leave you all soon enough- to Scotland- to a place where I will be alone, unknown, unheard..

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