Monday, July 6, 2009

There and Back Again

Hideous in your familiarity
Obstinate in your ways
My soul longs for elsewhere, but
Ever shall my heart pain me for here...

I arrived home on July 3 from the longest time I have ever been away from home (only about 16 days, but to me, that was a long while). I visited places of beauty beyond my home, and I longed for those places of beauty to be home. Alas, Florida- the Florida I shall leave- is home, and I will have to painfully up-root myself one day.


Spokane, Washington was my first destination. Several members of my youth group and I stayed there before we headed to a camp near Couer D'Alene, Idaho. Both places were beautiful, to me, beyond comparison. Spokane left the impression upon me that it would make a fine place for me to escape and truly become an artist at, and perhaps one day I may do so- perhaps not producing much art, but at least planting artistic seeds in the hardened soil of my being as I would sit upon a bench overlooking the water that ran through it.

Idaho offered a very different place: one where nature was abundant and simplicity was key. I shall always look upon Idaho fondly, for the people I met there- most not Idaho natives themselves, but there nonetheless- where the only people who ever fostered a true sense of family within me. I shall love them always, and especially because of that.

Though my heart was torn from departing such people, I went on vacation with my parents soon after to Tennessee and Virginia and the like. The south, beyond just Florida, is my home, and I enjoy much of it. But, alas, I do not rightly belong there, either: there is too much of a dark, sophisticated complexity in me, quite different than the strife that Southerners face. Strange, for both my parents are purely Southern.

In the end, I still must forge my own path. So be it! I believe it shall work best for me, so long as it is God's will. I do believe I must forge my own path in many situations within my life..


Marvin the Martian said...

I'm so glad you had fun! The Northwest is beautiful! So is the Southwest... Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona... a stark, barren beauty that speaks to me, a seemingly lifeless place that bursts into flowery color after a rare rain.

Home is wherever your heart is. Friends are the family you choose. Go where your heart leads you, but in the end, places are just places... it's the people, the friends, who make those places special.

READmyMIND said...

I'm glad you liked the west coast(: should have come to oregonnn...

Lydia said...

Marvin- I stopped in Arizona for a bit. I respect that it is beautiful, in its own way, but it wasn't really a beauty that spoke to me. At least not from what I saw.

READmyMIND- I wanted to! I shall, when I turn 18. If not sooner..