Following Personal Convictions

When I am long tempted, a
Hypocrite I degenerate into; just as
You..

It is hard to uphold yourself in today's society.

Complacency rules supreme over all I see; I often feel as if people lack morals all together. I know this is not true.. But I feel like it is, mostly... The worst part of the entire situation is that I am often- actually, probably always- a part of the conforming crowd.

Conformation to society is not always bad, I know this. However, a great deal of the time- say, 95% or more- it is. If you need testament to this, well, I don't think I will be able to show you any of consequences. I can, because of the lesser magnitude, point out some of the good. For instance, if a great deal of people band together and thoroughly organize and formalize doing certain goods, such as recycling, feeding the homeless a few times a year, building a house or two, or volunteering for a bit, many people may join in.. If the proposed activity seems attractive to whatever crowd they are targeting.

I don't like conforming. For the greater good, if I honestly feel it will have NO negative repercussions what-so-ever, then I will conform. Otherwise, I don't like conforming for my own comfort or for the general comfort of others (and by that, I mean people are uncomfortable around eccentrics for various reasons... I would not myself harm someone in thought, word, or deed or support it). I feel guilty and cheated when I allow myself to fall into normalcy because it is awkward and sometimes easiest- though least morally acceptable- to remain quiet and fit, as much as one as strange as I can, into the general crowd.

I write of this all because my biology class is dissecting a fetal pig. I am a vegan. I, thankfully, asked for an alternative and, thankfully, was granted one without much difficulty and no animosity. I feel sorry for the pigs... And I don't understand how the meeker of my peers could stand to be a part of the pig dissection process. But.. We humans, we have free-will, and I don't want to take it away, though I am bothered frequently by our choices... And battered by my own hypocrisy. I mourn for our individuality.. And the pigs.