I wanted to really control my blood glucose levels today as a symbolic action, but it is impossible. Something is kinking the chain; something is amiss. This disease is not easily managed.
I won't go in to details about my feelings about diabetes- sometimes I want to or do cry, for selfish reasons, because of something having a disease has taken from me; sometimes I am glad for the challenge, and other times- such as lately- I have no preference. I don't care. I usually do well with no effort in all things- and if I am not good at them, I don't do them- but playing this role is too much. I fail.
And here's a song I love which can somewhat be tied into the concept of me being alive, though in truth I shouldn't be:
But I am grateful, though some days I can hardly see why I should be. Yet the desire for life persists. Thank you, all who brought medicine to where it is today. Thank you, God, for some reason sparing me.