Saturday, May 22, 2010

As the despairing, sixth-rate alternative songs flood my head..

Everyone loves a damsel in distress so long as the distress is something external from her. Otherwise, she's a blood-squandering leech.

If I were able to coherently allow thoughts to flow and develop, I'd create one of those numbered chains of causes that lead to a final conclusion (there's likely a name for it that I am too unintelligent to know). You see them all the time in arguments of logic. Actually, despite my incoherency (or to celebrate it) I shall make one, anyhow.

  1. I was born corrupt and evil.
  2. I progressed in my corruption and evil, branching to become naturally spiteful.
  3. Because I was spiteful, I hadn't any friends.
  4. Due to a lack of friends, I became lonely.
  5. Loneliness drove me to depression, pseudo-sanity, and even more evil and spite.
  6. Because I grew progressively spiteful, evil, hateful, etc., I grew apart from and lost what friends I had (which is of benefit to both parties: they are set free and I will burn a little less for my sin).
  7. Because I lost all my friends, I fell deeper into despair.
  8. Because like leads to like, as I fall deeper into despair, I grow in darkness and have a decreased probability of finding joy or hope.
  9. I have little to no hope of finding goodness within me sufficient to make and keep friends who will, in turn, help me out.
  10. Therefore, if I am evil and cruel to all, with no hope of being elsewise, I should not be alive to make others suffer.

2 comments:

Marvin the Martian said...

You have friends, regardless of the fact that you think you don't. I'm your friend. I pray for you. I know that this trying time will eventually pass, and you will be happier. Trust me.

You are not evil or hateful. You are worthy of friendship and love.

But get help. There is no shame in asking for help. You don't have to keep feeling this way. Suffering does not win you points.

Marvin the Martian said...

And I think the term you are looking for is "causality." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causality

The captcha is "ulgorgis." I don't know what that means. ;-)