Monday, February 22, 2010

Unrest

Ride the wave, but watch where you land;
It is of no benefit to lose your soul but gain the world.
Sought after as it is, so little do I find:
Everywhere is selfishness, most of all, in myself.

(Before I begin: it is funny how some things haven't changed over the two-three years I've been blogging. How many times have I blogged of this? How many times was the theme behind a post or two or three or ten this very same thing?)

I have spent the last few months (perhaps even my entire life, if I look at it truly and with much shame) doing absolutely NOTHING in order to further the causes I believe in or to embody the characteristics/virtues/morals that I so pray and wish that people, as a whole, would come to adopt. Some days, this fact upsets me and sends me into a period of shame wherein I am even further kept from doing any good. Other days, like today, I am simply tired of being stationary. I want to live a radical life. I want to live what I believe.. And I want to be able to believe everything that I live.

In short, I am tired of seeing myself as an idealistic, hopeful person but not manifesting it. If I act not in accordance with what I see myself as, then what I see myself as is wrong... And I cannot (nor want to) be without my convictions and hopes..

So here's to my trying, once again after giving up out of weakness, to make a difference here and there.

1 comment:

Marvin the Martian said...

How wonderful to have to soul of an activist! And how painful not to be able to DO what your activist heart desires.

One must be reasonable in one's expectations of oneself. Be all that you can be, within reason.