Unrest

Ride the wave, but watch where you land;
It is of no benefit to lose your soul but gain the world.
Sought after as it is, so little do I find:
Everywhere is selfishness, most of all, in myself.

(Before I begin: it is funny how some things haven't changed over the two-three years I've been blogging. How many times have I blogged of this? How many times was the theme behind a post or two or three or ten this very same thing?)

I have spent the last few months (perhaps even my entire life, if I look at it truly and with much shame) doing absolutely NOTHING in order to further the causes I believe in or to embody the characteristics/virtues/morals that I so pray and wish that people, as a whole, would come to adopt. Some days, this fact upsets me and sends me into a period of shame wherein I am even further kept from doing any good. Other days, like today, I am simply tired of being stationary. I want to live a radical life. I want to live what I believe.. And I want to be able to believe everything that I live.

In short, I am tired of seeing myself as an idealistic, hopeful person but not manifesting it. If I act not in accordance with what I see myself as, then what I see myself as is wrong... And I cannot (nor want to) be without my convictions and hopes..

So here's to my trying, once again after giving up out of weakness, to make a difference here and there.