Tuesday, October 6, 2009

My Deepest Desire

Cursed to vaguely feel an excellent nearly unobtainable
Robbed, by the flesh, of channeling it-
Ere I leave, I hope to, just once, obtain it.
Am I alone? Do you feel it?
To feel is to create is to live-
Emptiness is inactivity.

Excuse me as I attempt to blog of that of which I do not know nor understand.

There is a strange, deep-buried feeling within me that, it seems, my intelligence and experience allow me only to sense but not to analyze nor act upon. There's some sort of drive- some sort of power, likely present in every human, but buried deep under false beliefs, misled motives, and the dust that time allows to accumulate on the soul- that has instilled within me the desire to create something, something- that will make a difference. Some sort of Woodstock (but with real meaning), or 1984, or Fahrenheit 451, or The Bell Jar, or The Catcher in the Rye. Something that affects how we view people on a base level and channels the dark, beautiful feeling that I feel but cannot express and manifests it, if only one of its aspects.

I want to write. 

But my prose- what used to be my strong point- has deteriorated greatly, and my poetry does little.

2 comments:

Marvin the Martian said...

You write beautifully. Your command of the language, at your age, is impressive. Don't sell yourself short.

Everyone wants to make a difference. But the simplest way to do it is not by inventing warp drive, or winning the Nobel Prize for poetry, or crusading against land mines. The simplest way to do it is to be the best, kindest, most loving person you can be. When you shine, everyone remembers you, and they shine back at you. Let the wonderful loving person inside you shine forth, and you will work miracles in the lives of those you meet.

Lydia said...

You have a great point.. I shall remember and strive for that.