Monday, July 27, 2009

Where to Stand?

More than happiness do I recall..
Empty times I remember, too.
More than that, there are times bittersweet..
Over, all of them;
Rectified, some of them. But where do I sit-
Your memory haunts- but to what extent should one forget?

For a good deal of my (short) life, I have vehemently opposed any and all who claimed to "put the past behind them." Perhaps, if I had ever found someone who did this properly, I would not be so staunchly against it, but everyone I have ever observed who followed that motto put their past so very much behind them that they learned nothing and never had any memorable experiences. All in all, it seemed a very empty way to live a life- the past having no authority or worth whatsoever!

Obviously, since I held that opinion so thoroughly, I dwelt in the past. I lamented the past. I laughed, occasionally, because of the past. I wrote of the past, thought of the past, worshiped the past, and hated the past. It may not have been healthy mentally, but it made for a great "depressed and misunderstood artist" persona. It made for a great deal of self-pity. It made for a pathetic, un-noticed me.

Obviously, neither outlook is good, and I do not know which one is more harmful. My question is.. For me (and for anyone), can I strike a good balance? And is there some things that, if one holds on to them, will prove to be good?

1 comment:

Marvin the Martian said...

It's easy to overanalyze, to obsess over a past, when that past is so short. It's all very crystal-clear, very present, very near. When you have enough of a past, a history, that you can begin to forget things, then it's a small step to focus on remembering only the good things, and letting the bad things slip into the mists of memory. That's what "they" are talking about, not dwelling on the past. Selective memory. Not ignoring mistakes, but simply allowing yourself to forget the pain.

There will always be good things to remember. Your faith, and the good works you do, for example. The good times you shared with fellow believers. The writing gigs you're doing.